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Technical Support: All about love

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February 13, 2011

Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?

Customer: I can do that. I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?

Customer Service Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma’am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?

Customer Service Rep: What programs are running ma’am?

Customer: Let me see….I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT,COM running right now.

Customer Service Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT,COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma’am?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Customer Service Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT,COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I’m done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Customer Service Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Customer Service Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops…I have an error message already. What should I do?

Customer Service Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says “ERROR 412 – PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS”. What does that mean?

Customer Service Rep: Don’t worry ma’am, that’s a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to “LOVE” your own machine before It can “LOVE”others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Customer Service Rep: Can you find the directory called “SELF-ACCEPTANCE”?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Customer Service Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Customer Service Rep: You’re welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the “MYHEART” directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, EALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH,COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT,COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

Customer Service Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go…

Customer: Yes?

Customer Service Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

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Worry less on your problems

Filed Under: Articles by admin — 6 Comments
January 15, 2011
Less you worry about your problems, the easier they will be to solve.
Deep down, we all know that for every problem there is a solution. Many times, the solution is obvious to a dispassionate observer, which is the primary reason corporations as well as entrepreneurs hire outside consultants.
Often, the reason we cannot see these obvious solutions is that we are trapped in our emotional reactions and habitual ways of seeing life.
The alternative to dealing head on with problems is to clear your mind instead of filling it with painful, confusing details. Quiet down, reflect, and listen.
Allow your wisdom, that softer part of your thinking, to surface. More often than not, seemingly out of nowhere (actually from Supersoul – the Lord in the heart), you will have an insight, an answer to your problem.
The less you worry about your problems, the easier they will be to solve! ^_^
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When a programmer writes a love letter

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January 14, 2011
Ever thought what would happen if a programmer is in love? Do you have an idea how he’s able to write a love letter?  Find the letter below usefull!
Baby, I’ve seen you yesterday while surfing on local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For long time, I have been lonely, trying to find a bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now.
My life is just an uncompiled program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless. You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful, which encourages me and gives power to me equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.
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How to Embed Youtube videos on a secure SSL Page

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January 4, 2011

Embedding Youtube video on a page is simple and had always been easy with the aide of Youtube’s embed code. However, embedding it inside a secure page doesn’t work well. It’s trouble and is a lot more painful in IE.

Inline with that, I’m going to discuss a cool work-around and it indeed worked for me on my recently completed project.
For most browsers, except IE, changing HTTP://youtube.com/ to HTTPS://youtube.com/ should work just fine.
This solution will work if your server is using Apache and has Mod_Rewrite enabled (most Linux web hosting companies do) and of course, you’re running on PHP. The steps below should work:
1. Add this to your .htaccess:
# Embed youtube securely on IE
RewriteEngine on
RewriteBase /
RewriteRule ^youtube/(.*)$ http://www.youtube.com/$1 [L]
2. Add this function somewhere on your PHP file before your embed code:
<?php
function youtube($URL) {
$youtube_code = $URL; // youtube source;
$u_agent = $_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT'];  // Find what browser
$domain = $_SERVER["SERVER_NAME"]; // Get domain name
if(preg_match('/MSIE/i',$u_agent) && !preg_match('/Opera/i',$u_agent))  { // Check if it's IE
$youtube_code = str_replace('youtube.com',$domain.'/youtube',$youtube_code);
}
$youtube_code = str_replace('http://','https://',$youtube_code); // replace HTTP with HTTPS
$youtube_code = str_replace('www.www','www',$youtube_code); // fix for the www.www BUG
return $youtube_code;
}
?>
3. Go ahead and embed your youtube VIDEO
<object width="390" height="297">
<param name="movie" value="<?=youtube('http://www.youtube.com/v/Xn_ERdqBIIw?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&autoplay=1');?>"></param>
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param>
<param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param>
<param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param>
<embed src="<?=youtube('http://www.youtube.com/v/Xn_ERdqBIIw?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&autoplay=1');?>" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" width="390" height="297"></embed></object>
Notice that you’ll just surround the youtube video source with youtube() function.

The script does the job for you on ensuring it would work on ALL BROWSERS. You should no longer receive security warnings and youtube should play without any problems.
Hope that helps!
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Interesting trivia for 2010

Filed Under: Articles by admin — 3 Comments
December 31, 2010

[1]   FORTNIGHT comes from ‘Fourteen Nights’ (Two Weeks).

[2]   POP MUSIC is ‘Popular Music’ shortened.

[3]   MOPED is the short term for ‘Motorized Pedaling’.

[4]   BUS is the short term for ‘Omnibus’ that means everybody.

[5]  DRAWING ROOM was actually a ‘withdrawing room’ where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix ‘with’ was dropped..
[6]   NEWS refers to information from Four directions N, E, W, and S.
[7]   AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from ‘Agricultural Marketing’.
[8]   QUEUE comes from ‘Queen’s Quest’. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen’s Quest..
[9]   JOURNAL is a diary that tells about ‘Journey for a day’ during each Day’s business.
[10]   TIPS come from ‘To Insure Prompt Service’. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a Box on which was written ‘To Insure Prompt Service’. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.
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Man and Woman

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December 29, 2010

MEN:

  • Most men are extremely busy.
  • Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
  • Although they have time for women, they don’t really care for them.
  • Although they don’t really care for them, they always have one around.
  • Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

WOMEN:

  • The most important thing for most women is financial security.
  • Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
  • Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
  • Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
  • Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just “an old rag”.
  • Although their clothes are always “just an old rag”, they still expect you to compliment them.
  • Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don’t believe you.

^_^

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Balance sheet of Life

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December 25, 2010

Our Birth is our Opening Balance

Our Death is our Closing Balance ?

Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities

Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset

Soul is our Fixed Asset

Brain is our Fixed Deposit

Thoughts are our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital

Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade

Friends are our General Reserves

Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill

Patience is our Interest Earned

Love is our Dividend

Children are our Bonus Issues

Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment

Experience is our Premium Account

Our aim is, to tally the Balance Sheet accurately.. ….. and the goal is, to get the ‘Best Presented Accounts’ Award. How’s your Life’s balance sheet is doing? ^_^

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Samsung mobile codes

Filed Under: Articles by admin — 2 Comments
December 25, 2010

Today we will discuss about the some secret codes of Samsung mobiles. These codes may be not applied to all old models of Samsung mobile, but you can try to all latest Samsung mobiles. You can display the hidden information of mobile sets and troubleshoot the routine problems using these codes.
Follow the list of latest Samsung codes list:

Code Function

  • *#9999# - Use to display the mobile software version
  • #*3849# - Use to reboot the Samsung handsets
  • *#06# – To display the IMEI Number of the mobile
  • #*2558# – To on/off the mobile time
  • #*7337# - Use to unlock the latest Samsung set
  • #*4760# – Use to activate and deactivate the GSM features
  • *#9998*246# – To verify the memory and battery information
  • *#7465625# – To verify the Lock status of mobile
  • *#0001# – To display the Serial Number of the mobile
  • *2767*637# – Use to unlock the mobile code
  • *#8999*636# – To display the storage capacity of the mobile
  • #*2562# – Use to reboot the Samsung handsets
  • *#8999*667# – Use to run the mobile in Debug mode
  • *2767*226372# – To fine-tune the camera settings
  • *#8999*778# – Use to display the information about mobile SIM card
  • *2767*637# – Use to unlock the mobile code
  • *7465625*28638# – Use to make active the Network Lock
  • #*#8377466# -To display the hardware version
  • *7465625*746*Code# – Use to make active the SIM card lock
  • *#pw+15853649247w# – Use to unlock the mobile code without SIM card
  • #*3888# – To verify the Bluetooth information
  • *#9998*627837793# – Uses to get extra parameter for unlock mobile settings\
  • #7465625*28638# – Use to unlock the Network Lock
  • #*7983# – Voltage Use to regulate Frequency or Voltage
  • #7465625*746*Code# – Use to unlock the SIM card lock
  • #*2834# – Use to reset the handsfree options
  • #*5376# – To delete all SMS in one command
  • *#4777*8665# – Use to explore the GPSR tool list
  • #*2474# – To verify the charging duration
  • *2767*688# – Use to readjust the mobile TV options

Hope that helps! ^_^

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Online Degree Programs: Can I Really Earn a Degree from Home?

Filed Under: Articles by blondelle — 2 Comments
December 16, 2010

When they first started, the online schools were largely regarded as a novelty, something amusing but not long lasting or permanent and certainly nothing to get very excited about. Then, people started graduating from very good schools without ever walking into an actual building or classroom and the laughing and the scoffing stopped. Suddenly, the whole concept of online school was more accepted, more highly regarded and most of all, more widely researched as a viable solution for the time constraint so many people are under. Can you earn a college degree from home? The answer is a loud, resounding yes!

Researching the Online Degree Programs

There is no limit to what you can accomplish once you set your mind to it. There is no limit to the type of degree you can receive from home either, especially if you know what you want to do, what level you will be striving for and, of course, the time frame in which you want to finish.  You can actually earn any level of degree with the online degree programs, including Bachelors, Masters and even Doctorate level programs in a number of different disciplines.

Figure out what it is that you want to do and what it would take to do it, and then find the right program.

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